Dropping the ‘Mama Guilt’
By Aimee Rothnie
Mama guilt, it’s something we have all felt. Perhaps even hearing that word took your mind back to a specific time where you felt the intense weight of mama guilt. The crippling kind. The kind that happens in the pit of your stomach, that you dwell on, and beat yourself up about, whilst also telling yourself stories like “I am not a good mama” or “I am such a failure”.
Most of our beliefs are formed from birth through to age seven. This period is fundamental in creating our entire belief system and is influenced by the people and environment around us, our primary caregivers and also societal expectations. The societal expectations placed on mothers are likely heavily contributing to the collective experience of mama guilt.
For example, if you had a mother who was “doing it all” and was incredibly burnt out and neglecting time for herself because she believed it was selfish of her to do so, there is a strong likelihood that you will have similar beliefs around work and self-care.
Additionally when you have the belief and thought patterns, “I am not a good enough mama”, or “I am not worthy of this journey of being a mama” or “I am a failure”, your reality is influenced by these beliefs. This is because your brain is always looking for information to prove that these belief systems are true, so it will start creating scenarios to continue to prove that… until you decide to rewire your beliefs.
Your subconscious mind is the home of your beliefs, and is responsible for 95% of your life - from your bodily functions like breath and digestion, to memory creation and belief forming. It is so important to become clear on your belief systems, to challenge the ones that aren’t serving you and to change them at the subconscious level. Re-wiring at this level creates a long-lasting change moving forward.
When you begin to bring awareness to your own belief systems, patterns and behaviours, you can start modelling change for yourself and your own family.
In overcoming their limiting beliefs and re-wiring new ones, women come to know their value and worth. It is in speaking from this place of worthiness that they are able to get their needs met without feeling such mama guilt. Building selfworth is one of the greatest antidotes to mamaguilt.
Furthermore, when women feel empowered to start choosing themselves amongst the patriarchal system in our society and stand true to their own values and beliefs, they can raise a generation of children who aren’t afraid to use their voice and are ready to challenge the societal norms placed on them.
So Mama, you are the absolute core unit of the family, it all starts with you, and the sooner you choose you, the sooner your entire family will benefit from it. You don’t have to be the burnt-out mother continually chasing her tail and always getting sick because you have ignored the signs your body is giving you. You can be the one that breaks the cycle and starts getting your needs met by letting go of the beliefs that are no longer serving you.
When we value and believe in ourselves and we change our belief systems the effects ripple out to the world around us. This is the work of breaking generational cycles. And the ripple effect will be felt by your grandchildren’s grandchildren.
My mission is to have a society filled with “badass mama’s” that aren’t afraid to know their value and worth.I am a mentor for the mama’s and I use a combination of proven modalities to work with you to overcome these beliefs that are affecting how you show up in motherhood. I work with my clients to rewire their subconscious mind, become emotionally resilient, meaning giving you the tips and tools so you can accept ALL emotions and support healing by moving it energetically through your body whilst integrating it into motherhood. Reach out to me on Instagram @aimee.rothnee